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Should You Become a Single Mother by Choice?

Decision to Have ChildrenEven in our modern society, when we hear of a woman becoming pregnant we immediately assume she is part of a loving relationship – either a committed relationship, or a marriage. But of course, things do not always work out like this. Not every woman is able to find her Prince Charming, and with her biological clock ticking, she may make the decision to become a single mother by choice.

Some women are desperate to have a child and become a mother. Having a baby is something they’ve always wanted, but yet they haven’t met a man to settle down with. Perhaps, they haven’t fallen in love with the right person. Whatever the case may be, single parenthood is something they may choose.

With fertility treatments and sperm donors, in today’s technological age, it’s entirely possible for a single woman to have a child without being married or being in a relationship. But should they do it? Should a woman choose to become a single mother by choice?

This is a complex issue and there are arguments for and against.

If you are yourself in this situation and agonizing over the decision to become a single parent, there is no easy answer, but maybe these few things you need to carefully consider.

How are Your Finances?

When a couple is married, or in a committed relationship, there are two people coming together and helping each other support the growth of a child. Babies are expensive, and when you are a single mother by choice, you only have the income of one.

How will you cope supporting your child as a single parent with no partner to help out? You should consider the day-to-day workload but also the financials, now and in the future. Can you afford having a baby? Can you afford the basic necessities of caring for yourself and your child?

Your Child May Never Have a Father

Whilst it is certainly possible to bring up a child alone, your child might never have a father. You may find that dating is harder as a single parent, and there are some men who won’t even look at you, since you have a child. (Obviously, these are not the type of men you should be dating in the first place!)

It is undeniable that this is not the ideal situation, and whether you feel that this is a problem comes down to your own beliefs. Do you think you would have been happy growing up without a dad? Are you wiling to raise a child knowing that he or she may never have a father or male figure in his or her life?

How Badly Do You Want a Child?

Some women feel destined to become moms. In this situation they should be able to do just that, even if they are not part of a loving relationship. It is tempting to rush into a relationship just to get the child you want, and this certainly isn’t a good idea.

Many women don’t feel complete unless and until they become a mother. In other cases, a woman may not want a relationship and they cannot imagine not having a child. The risk is that if you are desperate to become a mother but are not fortunate enough to fall in love early enough in life, you might never have the chance. So if you want a child desperately and badly enough, you should definitely consider your options – a sperm donor, a surrogate, adoption, etc.

Do You Have the Support of Family and Friends?

If you have family and friends who are willing to help out from time to time, this is a big plus point to going ahead with having a baby. Very few people are totally on their own when they give birth as a singleton. Even if you don’t have a husband, boyfriend, or partner, you still have the love and support of your parents, siblings, extended family, or friends – whatever your situation may be.

Make the Right Decision for You

As you can see, there are arguments for both sides of this situation. In truth, each individual woman – or man, in some cases – will need to come to her own decision on whether it would be wise to become pregnant or not.

No two people are the same, so for one person, the decision to have a baby while single could make perfect sense, while for another it would not. But if you are confident enough to do it, it is your decision to make.

Think about the decision carefully. Being a single mother by choice can be difficult, but if you have a tight-knit group of friends or family members, you’re financially self-sufficient and emotionally self-sufficient, it may be the right choice for you. Don’t rush into this life-changing decision. Mull it over and think of all the pros and cons, how single parenthood would change your life, and what are your decisions for doing it.

Good luck!

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About The Guest Author

This article was written by Alex from PassionSearch, the online dating site and perhaps a place to meet Mr. Right if you haven’t already.

About the author: This blog post was written by a guest contributor. If you’d like to guest post for Hip Chick’s Guide to PMS, Pregnancy and Babies, please read my Guest Writing Policy for a guideline of what I am looking for. All guest posts need to be at least 500 words and be original to this site only.

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